Here is another memory for you. Back when I first was hospitalized for my Crohn's disease, I was a smoker. This was back in the late 80s. Back then, hospitals had a smoking lounge for the patients and if the MD wrote an order, you could smoke in your room. I remember spending all my time in the lounge smoking away. On the eve of my first surgery in 1989 my MD would not even bother going to my room, he'd find me in the lounge. I couldn't eat or drink but man I could smoke. And I did.
I was absolutely terrified of not waking up. Plus since it was my first time, I had no idea what to expect. I have had nine surgeries so far. I am still terrified of not waking up. I'm a pro at being a patient but trust me, the fear is still there.
Of course, now you can't smoke anywhere. I quit smoking in 2002 but only after my lungs had collapsed 4 times. The first three times was the MDs fault, dropping my lung while placing a central catheter. That was what I told myself anyway so I could keep smoking. But the last time, was what they call a spontaneous pneumothorax. This means that for no reason, your lung just collapses. I was walking down the hall at work and felt it.
This scared the crap out of me. I was hospitalized for two weeks with tubes in my side and in my back draining various things. It was extremely painful. I was told that if it collapses one more time I have to have lung surgery. Now I'm a pro at belly surgery-but lung surgery?? Hell no. That scares the crap out of me.
I had smoked my last cigarette.....