Thursday, April 25, 2013

Double Digits

Oh people.  It's been so long since I have written on here.  I'm not going to list all the lame excuses that people do.  I simply haven't felt like it.

I have told you before that I usually have surgery every 3 years or so.  This time I made it 4 years.

Yes you heard me right.  I was hospitalized March 25, had surgery-my TENTH one on April 1 and was discharged on April 9.  I still have not gone back to work, am hoping for May 6 and get my staples out today.  Oh how I hate getting the staples out.  It just freakin hurts!  At least it's quick and it does feel better once they are out.  Something seems so wrong to have had ten belly surgeries.  I did not sign up for double digits!

After surgery, I got my first hematoma.  This is a huge bruise, blood collection that showed up underneath my staple line.  It was huge and ugly.  I took up most of my stomach.  The MDs were afraid I would have to go back to the OR to have this drained.  Luckily, it started to break up.  Since I've been home, lying on my back mostly, the bruise has traveled to my sides at my hips and is slowly going away.

Once again, I got jaundiced after surgery.  The MDs started freaking out, OMG, you must get off the TPN otherwise you'll need a liver transplant. Blah blah blah.  WTF people!  How am I all of a sudden supposed to get off the TPN, that has kept me out of the hospital a record 4 years and start being able to eat enough to survive.  Really?  Did I all of a sudden grow my intestines back?  I have been on TPN since 2006 and will never get off it.  Does that mean a liver transplant is in my future?  I really don't know.  That is something I will deal with if and when it happens.

My MDs also started freaking out about maybe my biliary tree is leaking and we must do an MRI and I'm like oh hell no, I don't do MRIs. I tried once, it freaked me out big time.  They're like we will give you medicine and I'm still like no way.  At this point it had been 2.5 weeks in the hospital and I was ready to go home.  I hadn't even started eating yet.  I was just done.  I told them it was time for me to go home.  They said no.  I said, I'm done, I will check myself out if I have to (which for you out there who thinks about doing this-your insurance will NOT cover your inpatient stay if you check out without your MD okaying it).

They finally agreed if I would do an ultrasound.  I did one and was released.  No idea what the ultrasound showed, but I'll get my records and read for myself.

What was wrong this time you ask?  From what I understand, my intestines had adhered to my abdominal wall and scar tissue had done it's thang and kinked some areas.  The same old stuff.

Again, I'll get my records and read for myself.  I'm no longer jaundiced and am eating a lot more than I usually do but this is only because I'm freshly roto rootered!

April 26 is my birthday-I'll be home alone, recuperating, eating cupcakes I made myself minus the belly staples.  Woohoo-it's a party!