Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Can you believe it?

Here is another memory for you.  Back when I first was hospitalized for my Crohn's disease, I was a smoker.  This was back in the late 80s.  Back then, hospitals had a smoking lounge for the patients and if the MD wrote an order, you could smoke in your room.  I remember spending all my time in the lounge smoking away. On the eve of my first surgery in 1989 my MD would not even bother going to my room, he'd find me in the lounge.  I couldn't eat or drink but man I could smoke.  And I did.

I was absolutely terrified of not waking up.  Plus since it was my first time, I had no idea what to expect.  I have had nine surgeries so far.  I am still terrified of not waking up.  I'm a pro at being a patient but trust me, the fear is still there.

Of course, now you can't smoke anywhere.  I quit smoking in 2002 but only after my lungs had collapsed 4 times.  The first three times was the MDs fault, dropping my lung while placing a central catheter. That was what I told myself anyway so I could keep smoking.  But the last time, was what they call a spontaneous pneumothorax.  This means that for no reason, your lung just collapses.  I was walking down the hall at work and felt it.

This scared the crap out of me.  I was hospitalized for two weeks with tubes in my side and in my back draining various things.  It was extremely painful.  I was told that if it collapses one more time I have to have lung surgery.  Now I'm a pro at belly surgery-but lung surgery?? Hell no. That scares the crap out of me.

I had smoked my last cigarette.....


  1. It isn't not waking up that scares me with surgery, it's waking up halfway through it that terrifies me. Makes me shudder just thinking about it.

    It's strange to think of people being allowed to smoke in hospitals. Now not only can you not smoke anywhere but some doctors wont even treat smokers.

    Are your lungs ok now that you've stopped smoking? I quit in 2006 after my Dad died of Lung cancer. That pretty much did it for me.

  2. @Tatterededges-My lungs are still not ok. I get very short of breath with very little provocation. Sometimes if I talk to much at once, I get short of breath. I still have a lot of pain from all the scar tissue. I now work with lung cancer patients and I am still in the 10% category of getting lung cancer from the simple fact that I used to smoke. It will never go below 10% no matter how long I have stopped smoking. Thank you for following me.


Leave me your thoughts.